No More Tears: Being Gentle with my Natural

     Before my relaxed days growing up I remember when my mom use to do my hair and I use to cry. I know some one out there is a witness!!! Oooooh, the pain of the comb raking through my kinky hair after shampooing, and my scalp would ache when I was getting cornrows, or twist was always a nightmare for me. Every tight grip to lock each flat braid would make my glutes numb up. I would be so uncomfortable from sitting on the floor, between her legs on a few pillows, oh child hood memories. Haaahaaa! I am not upset at my mother for those past experiences; I believe she had done the best to her knowledge of styling my textured hair.

     I use to always think the kinkier the hair the roughness should increase with combing and pulling the hair. Honestly I did! The excuses I used were, "My head is not tender" or "It doesn't hurt!" But as I became Natural again, I learned so much about my hair and scalp where I will do nothing else but treat it with TLC. I want to grow my hair longer and healthier so mistreatment is not a way to accomplish those results. My hair is precious to me. ...and plus my husband loves my hair, and when he plays in it, I do not want him touching scraggly hair. Oh no Honey!

Here are a few tips that I go by when I manage my hair, with no pain at all. Remember: I am not a hair professional; I can only inform you with research that I collect and also with what I have experienced since I have been natural. This is not a list of what you should do. I am just sharing what I do to maintain the painless styling of my coils, curls, and waves. 

#1.  When it is time to untangle, I try not to touch my hair while it is dry. Using a spray bottle filled with water and a few carrier oils, mixed with a leave in condition, or sometimes I add glycerin in it, I saturate my hair with it. (I use whatever I have available).  The moisture from the water brings the elasticity back into my hair and makes it softer and stronger for easy untangling. 

#2.  When styling my hair I always keep it in sections, mainly in fourths but sometimes a few more. This helps me moisturize each section and detangle not having to worry about my hair entirely. Doing this I concentrate on one section at a time. I do this while shampooing, co-washing, deep conditioning, styling, etc. I live by this method. If my hair is dry and I really need to detangle, I carefully make sure that I moisturize with water first, then I separate in sections then I carefully grab smaller sections rows at a time and smooth my hair out with my hands, using a liquid conditioner. I start from tip to root slowly stretching out my strands smoothing out the rough areas.

#3.  I try not to use a comb that much. If I do I have different kinds for different reasons. Mainly I detangle using my fingers, gently starting at the ends and working my way up. The shedding hair (the hair that has a white bulb on the tip) is what should be on my fingers, during this process, and not short pieces of hair (a result of hair breakage) I also found out the more I manipulate my hair with combs, brushes, and untangling tools, they promote split ends and that is what I am trying to correct or prevent from happening to my hair. Of course I can not escape split ends entirely but, I want to keep it to a bare minimum. 

#4.  Even while wearing protective styles, I treat my hair with care. Even though when wearing extensions rather it is wigs or sew-ins, easily I can forget and think, "My hair isn't showing so I really do not have to do anything to it." Yeah, and as soon as I take all those extensions down, I will be pulling my hair down and out right with it. This will lead to hair breakage and hair loss. So while I am hiding my hair, ends, and edges I make sure I extra moisturize. 

#5.  A Satin pillow case is a hair saver. It is gentle on my hair while I am catching my beauty rest. The cotton ones are a no-go for me, I will never sleep on anything other than satin. Some times I even forget to place a bonnet on my head, but I am fine as long as I have my trusty satin pillowcase.

#6.  PATIENCE, having patience help me untangle with ease. I try to live by the NO RUSHING POLICY, trust me it helps and works for me.

#7. When I shampoo, I keep my hair in sections and I shampoo with smooth, downward strokes as if I am applying a conditioner to my hair. This helps prevent frizz when it dries, and I found out that frizz creates tangles and we know that is no good.

...but, these are just a few tips I wanted to share that I do consider while trying to be gentle with my hair. I think of my hair as this delicate flower and that helps me to keep light with my heavy hands. I now have enough knowledge to take care of my Lizzy’s (daughter) hair without her feeling the detangle- method of pain. So with mentioning everything I would have to say, "No more Tears".  

Be Blessed. 

Full Lace Wig (synthetic) Echo Wig -Janet Collection

     Okay. I am not too much of a wig wearing girl. I never liked wigs, I think it was because, I knew that it was a wig and felt that other people would too. ...but, I asked myself what is the difference with me wearing one compared to having a full sew-in style? Nothing, but one is attached and the other one is not. I was in need of a style really quick and so I went wig shopping with my sister, "the Queen of Wigs." This woman is good, with helping anyone choose a style that helps fit their face. She worked a miracle on my decision. So, I found this one, and I really like it!

 


      This is a full lace synthetic wig (Full Lace Wig [synthetic] Echo Wig -Janet Collection) and it looked exactly like the picture above. I hate perfectly formed type curls. It looks to unrealistic to me. So I grabbed my comb, paddle brush and teased it to form more of a natural style and shaped it with scissors and the picture to the right was my result, it still was not teased enough though. I use the same teasing technique when I sew-in extensions connected to a weft first, then I continue sewing (one of my sew-in tips). When I buy hair rather it is a wig or on a weft, I  have the option to tease and play with it (if it has a curl or wave) to make it look more realistic. With me messy hair is like the new black in my book.

     I was pleased with this look, even though it lasted temporarily for me, about 2 weeks worth of use (not good at taking care of wigs). The synthetic is not good enough for me to keep up well. This unit only cost me about $28, I purchased it on sale so, not too bad for me. It got me through the lazy hair protective styling days. I still have this to keep for "the just in case days".  ...but, I do plan on investing more money into a human hair wig of texture to help me through the days of "the lazy fingers".

     Underneath the unit,  my hair was chunky twisted that I kept moisturized to keep my hair protected. Even though my hair was not showing, I made sure I never neglected my hair, even though that can easily happen. That is the purpose for my protective styles to PROTECT my own hair underneath, concentrating on my ends and edges to keep them from harm. I used hair milk by Shea moisture, and then I sealed in the moisture with the creamy coconut oil and shea butter mix , the recipe is on the video from my article: Staple product 1: Shea butter.


Video footage of me playing in my wig!!!

   

My Staple product #1: Shea Butter

RA African Shea Butter

     Honey, I love shea butter!! Been in my life since the Big Chop(BC) and there is nothing like it. I love how it seals in moisture when my hair is dry and crispy feeling. (Yes, I experience those toast feeling tresses). Sometimes if applied too much, shea butter can weigh my hair down. I can tend to be heavy handed when applying products. ...but anyway, here is a little background checking information for you on what shea butter is and suppose to do. So hope I don't snore you.

     Okay, Shea butter, pronounced like shay-butter. Not Sheya or Shy. I have heard those new names many of times. ...but, seriously there are shea trees located in Africa were the nut from the tree is separated/cracked, crushed, roasted, ground, separated again (oil formed), collected, and shaped to get the product we purchase. It really is very interesting how they create it, very good to know. For more in depth reading click the link below.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shea_butter

      It is yellow or ivory in color and thick-like in texture, it kind of reminds me of the thickness similar to bar soap, until it reaches room temperature. It will melt if too warm and solidify when cooled. Here are the many uses for this butter:
1.) Skin treatment for eczema and minor burns
2.) Pain relief from swelling and arthitits
3.) A great massaging oil when melted to help stiffness
4.) It has vitamins of E & F which is great for a sunscreen
5.) Treats skin problems such as discolorations, stretch marks, wrinkles diaper rash, and blemishes.

Lena's many uses:

• Sunscreen for me and the kiddies. My skin is so sensitive from any product that uses SPF-anything in it. A great skin protection, before goin to the park or out and about.
• When melted I use it for cuticle treatments for hands and feet. Great for dry skin. 
• Moisturizer for face and skin. 
• On Dry lips as a balm.
• Of course I also use it in my hair. Shea butter is rich in vitamins A and E, so it repairs breakage, aids in split ends, and also soothes dryness.  I use this recipe from Naptural85's youtube video:  I have been in love with these two home-made products!!! Two words, LOVE IT!! Check it out if you want to make your own! She has other great videos as well. 

    

     I purchase my Unrefined Shea butter from my local beauty supply stores, costing me about $4.99(8 oz.) and $5.99 (10 oz.)  So when I invest money into shea butter I know that it has many uses where I am definitely getting my moneys worth. ...but, even just using it for a hair product alone it is worth spending my money on. I will always use Shea Butter!! My hair LOVES IT! I love spoiling my hair, it deserves it!


"Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalms 37:4

Protective Style #1: Having a Twisted Winter

I am protective styling until the 28th of April (my birthday) so we will see what happens with my hair growth. This style has 2 uneven rows of two-strand flat twist on each side. The back has 6 rows of two-strand flat twist going up to the top of my head. From the top to the front middle I free twisted (I guess medium chunky twist) and I free-styled them by tucking and bobby pinning until I achieved what I liked. This styled can be done on natural hair, relaxed, braids, kinky twist, yarn braids, etc. So if you go for this look, just be creative and make it your own. ...and have fun with it!

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." -Philippians 4:8 KJV